(my apologies if you find this too political .. I posted this on Myspace and received favorable reaction from both Republicans and Democrats. We're just having fun, y' know. Anyway, it'll get pulled if it's too much)
My wife and I were watching the Vice Presidential Reality Show the other night, and then my wife grinned and said, "She reminds me of you."
"She doesn't have any clue what she's talking about."
"Huh? Oh... wait ...yeah, I think I know what you're saying."
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Sarah Palin is just like me.
She has a pretty good sense of humor, she's not an idiot, she knows that 'icing' is a hockey term, not just something for a cupcake. Not only that, but she's an engaging speaker and she has nice legs. Um...well, okay ... that's her virtue, not mine.
Anyway, besides the stuff above, the other thing we have in common is she's a guy.
Yep, a guy.
Think about it.
I mean, sure, she doesn't look like a guy. In fact, she's quite pleasant to look at, and I, like most guys, wouldn't mind seeing her naked.
But she is a guy ... and I can prove it.
Here she is, vying to become second banana to the most important person in the world, interviewing with national political consultants who make politics their life, then debating ... well, in word only ... that was no debate ... anyway, she's getting ready for the biggest event in her life ... and ...
... she 'winged' it.
She didn't know a thing. Her vague generalities, refusal to answer questions that she couldn't answer anyway, emphasis on misleading points, ... well, that's 'winging' it.
Ask any guy who comes home from having sneaked out to play golf, and forgets to think up an excuse beforehand. Or the guy who has an important meeting on Tuesday morning, but stayed up too late watching MNF. We know 'winging' it when we see it.
A woman never 'wings' it. They treat life and important events like Thanksgiving meals. They prepare, get ready, obsess, think, exchange ideas ... and nothing goes in the oven until it's ready.
But not Sarah Palin.
She 'winged' it.
Does this bother me? Not as much as you might think. I mean, the political pundits and Republicans were raving about what a success she was because she didn't perform to their lowest fears. And, as history has shown us, a low bar doesn't seem to be an obstacle to being a Vice President. I mean, ... can you say, Spiro Agnew, Dan Quayle, Richard Cheney?
You can't get worse than these three stooges.
Oh, and were they all Republicans? My bad.
And she ignores facts. How 'guy-like' is that? I almost thought I was watching myself on television. Remember when Palin chided Biden for comparing McCain to Bush. She said something like this, "There ya' go again, Joe, looking to the past..."
The past? George Bush is the standing President.
Then she goes off to extoll the virtues of Ronald Reagan.
Ronald Reagan?! That was almost twenty years ago.
I nearly swooned in admiration of the deft way she pulled this off.
But then another thought occurred to me during this whole debacle. As you know, Republicans have been rallying around her, calling her a fresh outside voice, a breath of fresh air ...
What kind of attacks do you think we would have seen if someone exactly like Sarah Palin ... had been the DEMOCRATIC candidate?
Yep, it would have been ugly.
But I'm not calling anyone a hypocrite ... nope, not me. I'm just saying that she's a guy.
But I'd still like to see her naked.
(don't tell my wife)
The Adventures of Guy
Fang Face - coming Aug 2009
(check out my new website: www.fangface.homestead.com)