Acceptance

I just finished watching Primetime's hour long special about Randy Pausch. I needed to watch this program. I'm going through an unexpected and painful divorce. I had a very intense therapy session last night going back to the trauma of my violent childhood and I'm very, very raw. I knew I had to watch this program. I craved watching this program.

Why?

Because I wanted to be inspired by the incredible strength of this truly genuine human being and his family - people I've never met - but people who truly speak to the human spirit. I wanted to refocus, adjust my attitude and learn to accept and appreciate all over again.

I haven't felt sorry for myself but understandably I've been battling a mild case of depression. Oh, I go to work and enjoy it. I run and go to my yoga classes and write - all these activities bring me great satisfaction and I keep reaching further and further and doing more and more. I have much to be grateful for. Still, it's easy to get bummed when life seems to let you down.

It's easy to slip into a rush of anger at those who have let you down in your life and as a child there really are people that have a responsibility to take care of you. But as adults we need to be careful about how much we expect others to caretake us. So much is truly rooted in our childhoods but I'm at a turning point in not wanting that childhood to control me anymore. I've logically embraced this for many years but I'm just now truly learning how to integrate this into my heart as well. Balance! What a concept.

So, Randy Pausch - a person I've never met but someone who now means so much to so many people who also never met him. He's known for his last lecture - a hit on You Tube and he transitioned out of this life last Friday and Primetime aired a celebration of life in his honor.

His wife, Jai, talked about acceptance and it really touched me. Acceptance! Not to be confused with making excuses for something or someone, not to be used as a means to keep ourselves from griefing and healing. Acceptance - just something that allows us to find peace with ourselves and our lives so we can live each day to the fullest. Sounds easy doesn't it? But so many of us struggle to acknowledge the act of acceptance, let alone accomplish it.

We're all going to die eventually so here's to Randy Pausch for showing us how to live.