The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)

If you haven't read The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably), you're in for a treat, cuz I'm going to post the prologue here for your reading pleasure.

(If you've read it already ... um ... sorry. Go read The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness. Or The Heat of the Moment, which has the short story The Really Hot Adventures of Guy).

Anyway, here goes ...

Prologue


In 2003, the Federal Trade Commission issued an amendment to the Telemarketing Sales Rule (TSR) mandating a Federal “Do Not Call” registry. Millions enthusiastically signed up, happy that they might recapture the sanctity and serenity of their dinner times, and the freedom to answer their phones without having to worry about fending off some jerk, whose thinly veiled purpose is to convince you to take your money and put it in his pocket.

Unfortunately, though, not everybody paid attention to what their government had done for them (quite likely because most people are not used to this kind of help by our elected officials).

“Ring...”

“Ring…”

“Ring…?”

“Ring!”

“Ring…ring…ring…”

The answering machine didn’t kick in.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Mostly because we don’t have an answering machine.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Which doesn’t matter, because we won’t answer the phone anyway…

“Ring…ring…ring…”

…because of telemarketers.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Telemarketers don’t seem to mind that we don’t answer the phone.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

They keep calling.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Over and over.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Patience and stamina…telemarketer virtues.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

That is, well, if you feel like you can put ‘telemarketer’ and ‘virtues’ in the same sentence.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

We didn’t know that the attorneys had waged successful war against the telemarketers, giving us certain rights against their invasion of our privacy.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

As a result of the litigation, the telemarketing firms had to cut back on employees.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Nearly wiping out their whole industry almost overnight.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

But not everybody knows about the Opt-out laws.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

There are still some clueless people out there.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

Like us.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

For all I know, there’s only one telemarketer left in the world.

“Ring…ring…ring…”

And he has our number.

(end)

Norm

www.normcowie.com

The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment (includes the short story, The Really Hot Adventures of Guy)
Fang Face (YA humor/vampire, coming Aug 09)