I have to admit to having a pet peeve.
Well, that’s not entirely accurate. First of all, it’s not a pet… unless maybe you’re talking about a pet rattlesnake or weasel, or something you find under a rock somewhere.
The other inaccuracy is that I have more than one peeve … some pet… some not-so pet.
But today’s peeve is a Monday favorite of myself, because it drives myself crazy. The peeve? The word ‘myself’.
There are almost no situations where this word absolutely has to be uttered, written, used or whatever. The only time it probably really can’t be avoided is when a kid says it.
A kid, you say?
No, a kid I ‘write.’
Anyway, this way-overused word is best used in a sentence like this, “I did it, myself.”
Even then, it could be avoided! How about the simple sentence, “I did it.”? It says the same thing without the redundancy.
Or if a kid wants to exult in an accomplishment, sure, let him say, “I did it all by myself.”
That’s great … no problem.
Or if you’re just ticked off about something, this is okay, “Fine. I’ll do it, myself!”
But be careful. Say this to your wife and you might end up sleeping on the sofa. And it would work just as well if you said, “Fine, I’ll do it.”
So think about the following bad boys:
Myself and the kids are coming over for dinner.
I’m inviting yourself and the family over for dinner.
The kids and myself are cooking warthogs for dinner.
And it gets worse when you bring the word ‘me’ into the equation.
Me and the kids are coming over for dinner.
The kids and me are cooking flaming salamander for dinner.
And don’t get me started on ‘I.”
It drives myself crazy … er, … it drives I crazy … um… wait, I got it …
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
and coming soon The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness