Last week, I told you ... well, more, I wrote and you read ... that is, if you read it ... but I still wrote it ...
...um...
Anyway, publisher Karen Syed is still doing her blog a day thing, and if you haven't read it yet, it's a great chance to get inside a publisher's head. See what makes her tick ... (actually, I sort of make her tic).
She forced me to ... er, asked for a couple volunteers to contribute and I wrote the following. It's kind of fun, so I thought I'd cross-blog for your enjoyment ... plus it gives me a chance to fix a typo. When you're done, you'll realize you're missing out by not reading her blog. Check it out at karensyed.blogspot.com.
In the meantime, here's what I came up with:
I remember once when I was a teenager I was sitting at a table across from my best friend Brian and we were demolishing … as only a couple of teenaged boys can … a plate of huge chocolate chip cookies. And when I say, huge, I mean cookies about the size of my credit card debt.
“Bet you can’t get a whole cookie in your mouth,” he challenged.
Ah, a dare. “Oh, yeah?” I retorted, and without thinking I jammed an entire cookie in my mouth.
His eyes widened, in admiration … and hopefully … shock and awe. Then his eyes narrowed, and he duplicated my feat. This is what guys do. Dumbness and dumbness repeated.
So we leveled a look at each other over the table like Clint Eastwood and a bad guy.
Then I tried to bite down on the cookie. But couldn’t. It was wedged too far in my mouth. I tried to break the cookie in half with my tongue. It … the cookie … was too thick. Frantically I tried to poke a finger in my mouth to break the cookie’s clutch.
Nothing. There was no room for my finger. I grabbed a shoehorn … no, I didn’t … but I wish there had been one. I looked up and saw that Brian was having the same problem. His mouth was stretched out like a hammerhead shark with a mouth full of tennis racquet.
Then I started laughing. Not much of a laugh, mind you. More like a choked, gargling sound like what a gum chewing turkey might make. Brian saw me laughing, and then it hit him. He dissolved in silent laughter, tears of mirth leaking from his eyes. Then he crumpled and fell to the floor. I wasn’t far behind.
Laughing, not dying. But if I was going to die, there are worse ways to go than dying while laughing.
Until this moment I had never understood the phrase, ‘rolling on the floor laughing.’ Anyway, when God invented enzymes and acids and stuff to break down foods in our mouths and stomach, I doubt if He did so with figuring it would save me from a killer cookie some day.
When I write, I write what makes me laugh. Snappy dialogue, ridiculous situations, and a frantic pace that barely lets you get your breath. Things that are funny because they are true or funny because they are unexpected.
I draw upon techniques that the great comedians have gleaned over the years. Like the observational humor of the late, great George Carlin, who said, “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone driving faster is a maniac?” Or misdirection, a favorite technique of Steven Wright, “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. So I had to buy them again.”
My first attempt at writing a book was a horror demon book and my second was a kidnapping book. Neither saw the light of day or of one of those really bright moonlit nights. Then one day I bonked my elbow on something which reminded me that I had a funny bone. What’s more fun to read than fun stuff, things that make you chuckle, laugh, or snort your Dr. Pepper? So I wrote my first humor fantasy book, The Adventures of Guy … written by a guy (probably), and it sold. So did its sequel. And next year my first vampire/humor book, Fang Face will be out to delight critters everywhere.
If I’m gonna die, it’s going to be by laughing. And until I do, I’m going to write with the same philosophy.
Norm
www.normcowie.com
The Heat of the moment
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
Fang Face (young adult humor/vampire, coming Au. 09)
Showing posts with label karen syed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label karen syed. Show all posts
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Ramblin'
Okay, I'm going to disobey my publisher here today ... sort of a civil disobedience kind of thing.
... or a guy thing.
(same thing)
Anyway, I've read a few posts by publisher Karen Syed of Echelon Press Publishing where she says that if you are writing a writer's blog it should be about writing. No personal stuff, no rants, no ... well...what I like to call fun stuff.
Respectfully I'm going to disagree with her. I write humor and fantasy and just writing about writing this genre isn't going to tell the reader how fun my stuff is. But if my blogs are fun and lively, the reader might go, "Hey, this guy's blogs are fun and lively. I'll bet his books rock."
Ansyis... oops ... forgot to tell you, I've got a band-aid on my finger and it's messing up my typing.
And this, igstelf, dern... did it again... anyway, this itself is a courageous story. A few hours ago, a little old lady was walking down the street and went to cross against the light. A moped was hurtling directly for her on a collision course. I saw her look up, her weak blue eyes widen and then she squawked and dropped her cane in fear.
I leaped over a Humvee in a single bound, grabbed a skateboard from a passing kid and whizzed into the street swooping up the old lady just as the moped thundered by like a runaway elephant.
Not really. I was opening up a plastic tray of blueberry bread and sliced myself on its razor sharp edges.
But don't worry,I'll just grit my teeth, ignore the pain and bleed all over my keyboard.
(time out ... I have to get some ice cream. Be right back)
.....
....
....
Okay, I'm back ... oh, wait ... B R A I N F R E E Z E!
Hold on.
....
....
....
Ah, better.
Random thought here ... I'm watching the Olympics and it's 9:00 a.m in China right now. I wonder if it's yesterday there or tomorrow ... or, um, this morning.
Anyway, back to Karen Syed. She's doing some kind of blog-a-day or something like that ... I wasn't listening (hey, I'm a guy ... I told you that). But she asked me to do a blog for her Tuesday posting, so I put together something pretty fun.
So instead of reading my randomness here, go check it out here >> http://karensyed.blogspot.com
Good stuff.
Norm
www.normcowie.com
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment
Fang Face (YA humor vampire, coming Aug 09)
... or a guy thing.
(same thing)
Anyway, I've read a few posts by publisher Karen Syed of Echelon Press Publishing where she says that if you are writing a writer's blog it should be about writing. No personal stuff, no rants, no ... well...what I like to call fun stuff.
Respectfully I'm going to disagree with her. I write humor and fantasy and just writing about writing this genre isn't going to tell the reader how fun my stuff is. But if my blogs are fun and lively, the reader might go, "Hey, this guy's blogs are fun and lively. I'll bet his books rock."
Ansyis... oops ... forgot to tell you, I've got a band-aid on my finger and it's messing up my typing.
And this, igstelf, dern... did it again... anyway, this itself is a courageous story. A few hours ago, a little old lady was walking down the street and went to cross against the light. A moped was hurtling directly for her on a collision course. I saw her look up, her weak blue eyes widen and then she squawked and dropped her cane in fear.
I leaped over a Humvee in a single bound, grabbed a skateboard from a passing kid and whizzed into the street swooping up the old lady just as the moped thundered by like a runaway elephant.
Not really. I was opening up a plastic tray of blueberry bread and sliced myself on its razor sharp edges.
But don't worry,I'll just grit my teeth, ignore the pain and bleed all over my keyboard.
(time out ... I have to get some ice cream. Be right back)
.....
....
....
Okay, I'm back ... oh, wait ... B R A I N F R E E Z E!
Hold on.
....
....
....
Ah, better.
Random thought here ... I'm watching the Olympics and it's 9:00 a.m in China right now. I wonder if it's yesterday there or tomorrow ... or, um, this morning.
Anyway, back to Karen Syed. She's doing some kind of blog-a-day or something like that ... I wasn't listening (hey, I'm a guy ... I told you that). But she asked me to do a blog for her Tuesday posting, so I put together something pretty fun.
So instead of reading my randomness here, go check it out here >> http://karensyed.blogspot.com
Good stuff.
Norm
www.normcowie.com
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment
Fang Face (YA humor vampire, coming Aug 09)
Ramblin'
Okay, I'm going to disobey my publisher here today ... sort of a civil disobedience kind of thing.
... or a guy thing.
(same thing)
Anyway, I've read a few posts by publisher Karen Syed of Echelon Press Publishing where she says that if you are writing a writer's blog it should be about writing. No personal stuff, no rants, no ... well...what I like to call fun stuff.
Respectfully I'm going to disagree with her. I write humor and fantasy and just writing about writing this genre isn't going to tell the reader how fun my stuff is. But if my blogs are fun and lively, the reader might go, "Hey, this guy's blogs are fun and lively. I'll bet his books rock."
Ansyis... oops ... forgot to tell you, I've got a band-aid on my finger and it's messing up my typing.
And this, igstelf, dern... did it again... anyway, this itself is a courageous story. A few hours ago, a little old lady was walking down the street and went to cross against the light. A moped was hurtling directly for her on a collision course. I saw her look up, her weak blue eyes widen and then she squawked and dropped her cane in fear.
I leaped over a Humvee in a single bound, grabbed a skateboard from a passing kid and whizzed into the street swooping up the old lady just as the moped thundered by like a runaway elephant.
Not really. I was opening up a plastic tray of blueberry bread and sliced myself on its razor sharp edges.
But don't worry,I'll just grit my teeth, ignore the pain and bleed all over my keyboard.
(time out ... I have to get some ice cream. Be right back)
.....
....
....
Okay, I'm back ... oh, wait ... B R A I N F R E E Z E!
Hold on.
....
....
....
Ah, better.
Random thought here ... I'm watching the Olympics and it's 9:00 a.m in China right now. I wonder if it's yesterday there or tomorrow ... or, um, this morning.
Anyway, back to Karen Syed. She's doing some kind of blog-a-day or something like that ... I wasn't listening (hey, I'm a guy ... I told you that). But she asked me to do a blog for her Tuesday posting, so I put together something pretty fun.
So instead of reading my randomness here, go check it out here >> http://karensyed.blogspot.com
Good stuff.
Norm
www.normcowie.com
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment
Fang Face (YA humor vampire, coming Aug 09)
... or a guy thing.
(same thing)
Anyway, I've read a few posts by publisher Karen Syed of Echelon Press Publishing where she says that if you are writing a writer's blog it should be about writing. No personal stuff, no rants, no ... well...what I like to call fun stuff.
Respectfully I'm going to disagree with her. I write humor and fantasy and just writing about writing this genre isn't going to tell the reader how fun my stuff is. But if my blogs are fun and lively, the reader might go, "Hey, this guy's blogs are fun and lively. I'll bet his books rock."
Ansyis... oops ... forgot to tell you, I've got a band-aid on my finger and it's messing up my typing.
And this, igstelf, dern... did it again... anyway, this itself is a courageous story. A few hours ago, a little old lady was walking down the street and went to cross against the light. A moped was hurtling directly for her on a collision course. I saw her look up, her weak blue eyes widen and then she squawked and dropped her cane in fear.
I leaped over a Humvee in a single bound, grabbed a skateboard from a passing kid and whizzed into the street swooping up the old lady just as the moped thundered by like a runaway elephant.
Not really. I was opening up a plastic tray of blueberry bread and sliced myself on its razor sharp edges.
But don't worry,I'll just grit my teeth, ignore the pain and bleed all over my keyboard.
(time out ... I have to get some ice cream. Be right back)
.....
....
....
Okay, I'm back ... oh, wait ... B R A I N F R E E Z E!
Hold on.
....
....
....
Ah, better.
Random thought here ... I'm watching the Olympics and it's 9:00 a.m in China right now. I wonder if it's yesterday there or tomorrow ... or, um, this morning.
Anyway, back to Karen Syed. She's doing some kind of blog-a-day or something like that ... I wasn't listening (hey, I'm a guy ... I told you that). But she asked me to do a blog for her Tuesday posting, so I put together something pretty fun.
So instead of reading my randomness here, go check it out here >> http://karensyed.blogspot.com
Good stuff.
Norm
www.normcowie.com
The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment
Fang Face (YA humor vampire, coming Aug 09)
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