I know that sounds like something ironic to say right now given all the bleak news in the media about the economy and the state of the world in general but I'd like to say it anyway. I'm sure that many of us know someone who has been hurt by the economic downturn and may even be in that category ourselves, but there's always something for which to be grateful.
I'm grateful that I still have a roof over my head and that despite some turbulent times of my own I have emerged with my sense of self intact despite some efforts to keep that from happening. We'll put this in the category of life doesn't always turn out the way you expected or hoped it would but sometimes that unexpected twist in your life may actually open some doors to opportunities you didn't even know existed for you. That's kinda, sorta where I'm at. As I'm nearing the end of grieving for an earlier loss I'm realizing just how richer my life has become. Some very interesting people have come into my life of late and I just don't think that would have happened had my life remained the way it was prior to that significant loss. I've also rediscovered some other people who were already in my life but who I couldn't see as well because of some filters that no longer have a place in my life.
If this sounds rather existentialist then you're right. I've been rereading some of Jean Paul Satre's work. I first read his work in college back in the 1970's at UCLA and I read it in french. Now I'm reading it in english and I'm tickled by how much I actually understood in french. In some ways I understand it better now because there are certain nuances that translations can miss. I'm having a great time with this rediscovery and I'm finding that I'm going back to a foundation in my life that I had put aside but that is now serving me well. So, don't be surprised if I write more about my existential journey in coming blogs.
One of the cornerstones of this journey is differentiating between what I'm responsible for and what I'm not responsible for, especially in relationships. I'm discovering that I've taken on way too much responsibility for some of the people in my life, especially in the past, and this was not only unfair to myself but unfair to those individuals as well. We are actually being untruthful with ourselves and others when we accept responsibility for something that really isn't ours to take. Again, this is part of my resdiscovered existential journey and given that I'm putting myself out there to be rejected by publishers I'm glad I once again have this philosophical anchor in my life. I will also continue to count my blessings, especially this time of year.