I HATE WRITING, EXCEPT WHEN I LOVE IT.
I know I've got some form of obsessive, compulsive disorder. I'm obsessive about making sure the house is safe. I always unplug the toaster and check the gas stove before I step out the door. Before I go to bed each night, I again check the stove. I check all the door locks, too.
I do the same type of stuff when I write. I can't just leap into my work in progress and continue where I've left off. I always need to go back a few pages to refresh my memory and get back into the flow.
The trouble is, lots of times when I do that I stay mired in what I've already done, thinking over better words to use, better ways to phrase, finding other ways to change it, instead of proceeding.
It's hard to forge ahead. That's the DANGER TERRITORY, where I'm forced to invent. It's scary being in there. What if I can't think of anything to say this time? What if my novel never gets finished because I've written everything in my head and there's nothing more there?
I HATE WRITING.
If I hate writing so much, why don't I just give it up?
BECAUSE I LOVE IT.
There's nothing like living in my own make-believe world. When I'm in the flow, I'm not thinking about my own boring life. I'm living other people's.
Without leaving my computer, I travel where I want, think what I want, invent my own job, friends, family, anything in the world. By living through other people, I can make myself happy, sad, mean or nice, do whatever I want to and suffer no consequences.
In my books, I can be a mathematician, a scientist, a homeless person, or an Academy Award winner. I can be really rich and live in a mansion or terribly poor and live on the streets.
I can reside here in the U.S.A. or in some far away place like Uganda. The possibilities are as endless as my imagination.
I'm a woman, but in my books, I can be a man. As a matter of fact, in my mystery, TWO WRONGS, published by Hard Shell Word Factory, I'm the brother of a murder victim. I'm also a wrongfully accused man who goes to prison and morphs into a criminal.
That's right! I can be more than one person in the same book. I can be as many of them as I want.
I LOVE WRITING.
I suspect there are other writers out there in the same boat. I invite you to add a comment below on your affliction so I don't feel alone.
Also at: www.myspace.com/morganmandel
TWO WRONGS by Morgan Mandel, a tale of vengeance and the healing power of love, set in Chicagoland, is available in print and e-book at www.hardshell.com,www.amazon.com, & by order at bookstores.