The Tortoise and the Hare

I ran a race less than two weeks ago and it was one of our hottest days yet. The race was only a 5k (3.1 miles) and I have run this distance many times before, but I'm coming off physical therapy for an injury and my asthma has been acting up. So, my expectations for the race were to finish and finish alive. Actually, that's my expectation for all my races including the half-marathon.

I try to keep a consistent pace on my runs, adjusting for heat and asthma symptoms, but for the most part I'm a fairly steady runner, if a bit slow. Well, on the day of the race, there were a number of folks - old, young, in-between - who did the walk/run method. I've done this myself in the past but what caught my attention were the young women, much younger than me, who would sprint out then fizzle and walk and then would see me run past them so they'd sprint out again, fizzle and we would do this again and again. Guess they didn't want an old lady passing them. I did finish the race before several of them which probably surprised them. I usually do better or as well as the sprint/walk folks.

I also try not to compete with others while I'm running the race because as I push myself I don't listen to my body and my asthma tends to flare up and get the better of me. That's what happened at the end of the race. A woman about my age had passed me and then maintained a short distance in front of me for most of the race. Then just after mile 2 she stopped and then walked. about 1/2 mile from the finish line she caught up with me and paced herself off of me. Well, that's when I got a little competitive and picked up my pace. Not far from the finish line my asthma flared up and I reached for my inhaler while continuing to run, albeit at a slower pace. I fumbled with the darn thing, almost dropped it, finally took a whiff and resumed a faster pace. She came in seconds before me. I didn't see her bib number so I don't know if she was in my exact age group or not. Like most races, this one allowed for age group placing.

There was also a 10 mile race at the same time - yes 10 miles. I've run this distance before as well but I just knew I couldn't handle that yet. One of my VFW buddies ran that distance so I waited for him so I could cheer him on. While I was standing on the sidelines I heard the race officials annoucing the 5k results and low and behold I placed third for my age group. Understand that while I do okay given all my special circumstances, this is the first time I've actually placed in a race. I had mixed feelings because it was also one of my worst times ever.

So, what does this have to do with writing? Well, I've noticed over the years that there are lots of folks who think that writing a book is easy and that once they complete it, they will be able to sell it and make a whole bunch of money. They're like the sprint/walkers I saw on this race. My impression was that many of them didn't truly prepare for the race and thought just because they were young and slim, they would do great. The writing analogy is that just because you have a great idea or a cool visual image in your head, doesn't mean you're prepared for all the hard work and challenges of actually completing and selling a written product, especially fiction.

Well, writing like running, takes preparation, training, perseverance and so many other qualities that come with committment to the event. Back to the literary analogy above, sometimes slow and steady really is a better way to go.

When and How to Write

I often compare writing to training for a race and since I do both I can't help but notice the parallels between the two. As writers we often spend a tremendous amount of time worrying about things that may not matter in the end. For example, what the market is buying before we even have a finished manuscript. Since the market is fluid and more difficult to time than the stock market, worrying about this is pretty much counter productive. However, it is important to understand the market, not so much to time it but how to approach it, or more specifically, the agents, editors and publishers that control it.

In training for a race we focus on the type of race we are going to run. One doesn't train the same way for a 5k race as for a 10k or half-marathon. So, knowing the race you're going to run is important for how you approach your training. On Saturday I ran a 10 mile race, my first running race for 2009 and boy was I unprepared. I finished the race but I could tell that I hadn't trained properly. How could I tell? Well, since I've run longer races and felt better I knew that running the race was a bit premature. Still, I made mental notes along the way of the things I needed to change before running the next race I signed up for - a half-marathon. I know what to do, I just need to do it.

The same holds for writing. For me,the writing equivalent of a race is submitting a manuscript to a publisher or pitching that manuscript at a conference. I waited a while before sending a letter off to an editor about my first romantic suspense novel because I wanted it to be ready should I get a request for the whole manuscript. I did get the request but in the end the novel wasn't accepted by the editor for publication. Since it was the only editor I queried I'm not as bummed about it as one might think. I feel pretty good that after sending a query to just this one editor and then receiving a request for the full manuscript - well, in the writing world of odds, that's pretty good. Haven't decided if I'm going to send this out to anyone else but in the meantime I continue writing another work of fiction that I've started.

So, I will continue to learn from my racing mistakes and misjudgements and I will continue to train and run races, regardless of where I place, because it keeps me challenged and feeling alive.

The same for my writing endeavors. I can no longer stop writing than I can stop working out and challenging myself. I write mostly on the train during my commute and then edit at home on a printed out version. I write stories based on my own voice, my own imagination, and my own taste in what I enjoy reading. I doubt I'd be any better at timing the writing market than the stock market and in the end after spending a year or more on any given writing project, I want to at least enjoy the ride and fun of putting one more word on paper and taking one more step towards finishing a race.

Why we do what we do

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why it is that you do what you do? I'm not just talking about work, although that would be a good place to start. Sure we tend to work because we need to pay our bills but why do you work where you work? Why do you do the kind of work that you do? Was it your only choice? Is it still your only choice?

When I was in grad school at UC Santa Barbara after serving two tours in the Republic of South Korea, I met quite a few other grad students who came from foreign countries to include many from Europe. One day, in between classes, I was sitting with some of the foreign students and we were sharing our experiences of living in a foreign country. An observation made by one of the foreign students was - "Americans live to work. In Europe we work to live."

Now this can be taken many ways but whenever I reflect on this conversation I come to appreicate it more and more as true. Look around and you'll see many people in jobs they don't enjoy. I mean really, really don't enjoy. There are days I don't enjoy my job - IT support for a government agency - especially when people yell at me and expect the moon, but overall I really like and enjoy my job. It's challenging, it's mentally and physically stimulating and it's more than just job security. I'm very happy about that, but my job is just part of who I am, albeit a large part of my life and certainly impacts on how I experience other parts of my life. Still, I'm finally beginning to feel the shift from living to work, to working to live.

I just returned from a run. It's my short run for the week, 3 1/2 miles, but it ended up being a very difficult run for me. My asthma has been acting up for the past week and this is my biggest challenge to running. I grew up in Los Angeles and it's not until I moved to Chicago after leaving the army that I developed chronic asthma. Guess I'm better off when I can see the air I'm breathing! Anyway, getting oxygen into my system to motiviate my leg muscles to work is a real challenge when I'm wheezing. Oh, I use my inhaler 20 minutes before -and on this run I had to use it during the run - and I'm on several different medications to help me breathe and prevent my asthma from acting up, but act up it does.

I have allergy-induced asthma and whenever the weather changes I tend to have a reaction. Most days it's more than manageable but today and for the past several days, my asthma has been gallantly trying to interfer with my running progress. So, you might ask - why do I even run in the first place! I mean one bad asthma attack and I'm a goner, and believe me there have been days when I've really struggled to breathe. I remember one day at work, my co-worker told me that I looked just plain grey. I was struggling to breathe and I went home early. The next morning I went in late not having slept very well the night before. When she saw me she almost hugged me. She said she had been very worried when I was late because the night before a friend of hers - much younger than me - had died in his sleep from an asthma attack.

So, why do I run? Well, I do like to challenge myself but I take my asthma very seriously. I pace myself based on how I feel and I've even cut some runs short because I listen to my body and even though I'm use to pushing myself beyond what I think my limits are (you can take the girl out of the army, but you can't take the army out of the girl!) I don't mess with my asthma.

My long run for the week is usually on a Sunday morning. Mornings are better, especially a Sunday morning, because few cars have been out and the air is the most pollutant free and less dense than it is later on in the day. Two weeks ago I ran 7 strong miles but this past Sunday I had to cut my run short only logging 5 1/2 miles. For folks who don't run, you're probably thinking, "That's great!" but I'm prepping for the Chicago Half-Marathon and I want to get my long run as close to 10 miles as I can. I ran this race in 2006 and I know I can finish it but in 2006 when I ran the race it was two weeks shy of my one-year anniversary from a radical hysterectomy. Still, I ran 8 1/2 miles before I had to walk/run and finished in just over three hours. This time I want to get as close to 2 1/2 hours as I can.

So, what's the point to all this? The point is to answer the question - why do we do what we do? I run because I can and because given all that I've shared in this blog, it's a challenge for me. The fact that I can challenge myself against certain odds while still preserving my well-being is quite rewarding and makes me appreicate each and every day that I am alive and doing well. I run because it helps me not take anything for granted - not my health, not my freedom, not anything. My aches and pains are real but I know which ones are temporary and which ones are warning signs. It's because I run and challenge myself that I'm able to be this aware of myself, my health, my body and my surroundings.

I am also a writer. I have published non-fiction works but I will soon be submitting my first novel to a publisher for consideration. I have been working on this novel for more than four years. I'm in what I feel is that last major rewrite and I'm on page 205 of a 260 page novel. I'm ecsatatic! Don't know if it will actually be published but I'm very satisfied with my efforts. I've learned so much in the process about writing in general and about myself.

I write and run because I can. I write and run because I can't imagine not doing either of these things. I write and run because to stop now would be akin to a part of me dying. I write and run because I want to continue to learn about who I am for the rest of my life.

That's why I do what I do.