Holy Ow!

It hurts! I hurt!

I can barely get upright, much less downleft. And not only that, but some self-proclaimed do-gooder named "Nurse Wife" refuses to let me move around. She bosses me around, telling me to lie, or is it lay? ... whatever... flat.

If we were meant to lie flat, we'd be a piece of panelboard, a book, or something else that only requires two dimensions instead of three.

And now I'm typing in pain, all bent up, just to bang out some words of knowledge (I lie, as opposed to lay ... you won't learn anything here).

My excuse, explanation as it were, is that my youngest critter and I went to the former Joliet Arsenal to do some community service (no, not jail related - I already served that time). A bunch of kids and adults all showed up to pull mustard grass, so of course we ended up pulling up heavy waterlogged railroad ties out of culverts, ditches and sometimes two feet of water.

Since I know I can overpower mustard grass I didn't bring my back brace... the railroad ties were a complete surprise ... so you can guess the rest. Yep, I hurt my head. Just kidding, my back. So Nurse Wife confined me to bed rest, and I'm bored!

Do you hear me!

Board!

No, not board, but they lie/lay flat, too.

Bored!

Yes, I'm incredibly bored.

You can only lay down reading for awhile... then some TV... maybe a crossword puzzle ... AAARRGGHHHH!!!! I want to be OUTSIDE! I want to PLAY! Tennis, swim,... something... anything ... I'd gladly pull weeds.

I'd be content to sit outside feeding the fish. But no, not according to Nurse Wife. It's bed and that's it. Oh, and Naproxin. Did you know you can't have a glass of wine with Naproxin? So I can't even drink myself into a stupor and sleep through my recovery.

Oh, wait, Nurse Wife is coming... I have to go before she sees that I'm out of bed...

Norm

www.normcowie.com

The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably)
and its upcoming sequel The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness